What Makes a Man? An In-Depth Guide

Being a man is not simply a matter of biology - it's a choice to harness one's masculinity towards productive outcomes.

This guide will explore what society expects of men, the pressures they face, and most importantly, actionable tips for being your best self.

Key Takeaways:

• Manhood is defined by choices, not stereotypes or biology. It must be intentionally cultivated.

• True masculinity means accepting responsibility, cultivating strength for good, and leading by example.

• Develop virtues like courage, leadership, mastery, and service. Challenge yourself and build brotherhoods.

• Don't repress emotions, but master expressing them appropriately. Seek balance, not extremes.

• Progress daily. Manhood is a lifelong journey, not a destination. Focus on your own path.

The Current State of Manhood

In today's world, men are pulled in different directions about how to define themselves. On one hand, some argue that traditional masculinity is outdated or even toxic.

On the other, many men feel aimless or suffer from high rates of depression and suicide without a clear male identity.

Navigating between these extremes is no easy task. However, we must define manhood in terms of choices, not stereotypes. Any man, regardless of age or background, can choose to embrace virtues like courage, leadership, and providing for others.

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What Does It Mean to "Be a Man"?

Being a man means accepting difficult responsibilities and harnessing your natural strengths to tackle challenges. It means standing up for your beliefs and protecting those who cannot defend themselves. It means earning respect through competence and integrity.

At its core, manhood means using your power to lift up your community, not oppress others. It's about cultivating discipline and channeling aggression into creativity. Manhood is defined by actions more than appearances - it's not about being macho or stifling emotions. It's about standing firm in your values and leading by example.

Above all, being a man means recognizing that the world does not owe you anything. True manhood is forged through tests and developed through perseverance. Any man can choose this path to realize his full potential.

Tips for Developing Manhood

Here are some concrete tips to help you develop manhood:

• Set challenging goals - Don't shy away from responsibility. Seek out difficult goals that require courage and perseverance. Meeting them will build your confidence.

• Cultivate willpower - Strengthen your self-control. Make meditation and cold showers morning habits. Cut down on instant gratification from social media and entertainment.

• Learn skills - Pick up useful skills like financial literacy, carpentry, and survival training. Competence breeds confidence.

• Build physical strength - Exercise frequently. Strength is an embodiment of masculinity. Stay fit for health and to feel your power.

• Serve others - Use your talents to make a difference. Volunteer, mentor youth, stand up to bullies. Improving your community enhances your manhood.

• Develop emotional intelligence - Don't repress all feelings, but master how you express them. Learn when to be vulnerable, when to be strong.

• Forge brotherhoods - Surround yourself with like-minded men who challenge you. Brotherhoods reinforce virtues and accountability.

• Read philosophy - Study the wisdom of great men. Stoicism, Bushido, and other philosophies provide guidance.

• Master a craft - Dedicate time to perfecting a skill or trade. Mastery demonstrates focus, patience, and work ethic.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Does being a man mean I can't show any vulnerability?

A: You don't have to act tough all the time. Situationally show strength, but also honesty/vulnerability when appropriate. Mastering that balance is real masculine maturity.

Q: Do I have to like typical "manly" things like sports and beer?

A: Not at all. Masculinity is defined by your choices and actions, not superficial preferences. Pursue what energizes you, whether that's arts, nature, or technology.

Q: What if I don't have a father or male role models to teach me?

A: Many great men throughout history grew up without fathers. Seek out mentors in your community, historical figures, or men's groups. The guidance is out there.

Q: Can I still be manly if I'm not heterosexual?

A: Absolutely. Sexual orientation has no bearing on your ability to embody masculinity and live with purpose and integrity.

Q: Isn't chivalry outdated? Why should men pay for dates, hold doors, etc?

A: Chivalry is an empowering mindset, not outdated etiquette. Acts of service show strength and leadership. Do them judiciously based on context.

Q: How can I motivate an aimless friend/relative to embrace manhood?

A: Lead by example. Share wisdom through suggestion, not criticism. Positively reinforce steps in the right direction. Some need to walk the path themselves first.

Q: If I don't feel like a "real man" yet, does that mean I have failed?

A: Not at all. Manhood is a lifelong, intentional journey of growth, not a finish line. Focus on progressing a little further each day.

The world needs men willing to embrace their power to protect, provide, and lead lives of virtue. We all have room to grow on the path to manhood. By taking responsibility and making courageous choices each day, any man can steadily develop into his greatest self.

References

[1] Sweeney, Patrick. “5 Stories of True Grit.” Art of Manliness, 12 June 2019, www.artofmanliness.com/articles/true-grit/ .

[2] Mansfield, Harvey C. Manliness. Yale University Press, 2009.

[3] Estrada, Daniel. The Way of Men. Dissonant Hum, 2012.

[4] Pressfield, Steven. The Warrior Ethos. Black Irish Entertainment LLC, 2011.

[5] Aurelius, Marcus. Meditations. Translated by Gregory Hays. Modern Library, 2003.